October 9, 2008 | | | | Headbanging | by Mark
My neck is still sore from the Into Eternity show 4 days ago. From fellating their manager, not from performing. It'd been about two months since I headbanged like that and I'm still feeling it.
Headbanging while playing guitar was a phenomenon though. I'd never feel a thing. Maybe it had to do with the stance or something. I could do the windmill for minutes straight and not get dizzy or sore or anything. Granted I was putting a little bit more into it than usual on Sunday. Two months of backed up headbanging'll do that. Like cinching a garden hose filled with awesome.
Regardless it's not nearly as bad as how I'd feel after headbanging in a crowd or a pit. I'd throw my whole damn back out doing that and feel it for weeks. My neck would no longer be able to support the weight of my head and it would just slump in whatever direction I'd happen to be leaning. I swear I'm going to end up with a Mr. Burns hump by the time I'm 30.
| September 10, 2008 | | | | Mando Calrissian | by Mark Ward
I've spent the past few lunch breaks at work sitting in my car practicing mandolin, building my callouses back up for these acoustic shows. Shit hurts. Not to mention I feel like a tool sitting behind the wheel in the parking lot fiddling away at my gay little mandolin. I wish I could go Grisman on that thing. That might be even worse though. Like a guy who's an expert at curling. Is that really necessary?
Oh shit I haven't perfected something yet that I'm supposed to be recording tonight. Oh shit Randal's gonna read this. Oh shit he's probably reading it right now. Why don't I just erase this?
We should totally cover Lapti Nek for the acoustic shows. Confuse the fuck out of everyone.
| May 6, 2008 | | | | My Sweet Brick | by Mark
As I was driving home from work today, immobilized by a stop sign and an endless perpendicular line of cars, I noticed a derelict on the sidewalk stumbling towards me with a Verbal Kint limp. His pants and unbuttoned shirt were seven different shades of brown and I couldn't tell if he was wearing shoes or had Hobbit feet. On a good day, he might've resembled the Unabomber after a week-long coke bender. Every few steps, he would take a swig of whole milk from the half-gallon container in his hand.
Feeling a deep pang of pity for this transient, wandering up and down Route 9 on this hot May afternoon, I felt the overwhelming urge to offer him a ride. Maybe at least give him some granola bars I had in my backseat. What I did do was focus all my concentration on not yelling "MILK WAS A BAD CHOICE!" before cutting someone off.
Anyone who says I'm a nice guy is grossly misinformed.
| February 12, 2008 | | | | Taking Jersey Back!!!! | As many of you might have noticed, things haven't been so peachy in the DD camp lately. It's just been way to awkward,tense and non-productive. I thought we just needed to somehow lighten the mood and remind ourselves why we do this. So I saw our pals in End of an Era had a Stone Pony show on February 29th, and figured what the hell, I'll see if there's room. There was, and were on the bill. But they slapped us with 100 tickets to sell. DD hasn't sold tickets for a local show with no national touring act as the headliner in years, but you know what, we're up to the challenge. I know there are dedicated DD fans out there that will come through for us, just like you always do. It's been a while since we've seen all of you guys, and honestly we could use a morale boost. So we're calling out all the troops for this one. Come on out and let's just have some fun again. It's looking like we'll be on 3rd, doors are at 7, so don't be fashionably late. Our lineup will be intact for this one. That's right, Dan's game. So get in touch with us for tickets, and let's reclaim Jersey!!!
Rick
| January 16, 2008 | | | | Auditions | by Mark
If these guys don't know the required songs, I'm gonna crack some skulls.
| November 13, 2007 | | | | Spamalot | by Mark
I don't know what breed of people compose the subject lines to spam e-mails but I tip my hat to them. I come home from practice and what do I find topping my list of incoming mail?
"Untouched slit gets plowed with a huge shlong"
That's fucking incredible. Anyone who disagrees with me, I'll face off in The Octagon. And lose. Terribly.
But that shit amazes me. It genuinely brightens my day. Someone gets paid to do that. It's not even a full sentence. And they're using the singular "slit". Is that to imply a collective like "deer" or "moose" or are they referring to some monstrous labia that threatens Metropolis?
"Untouched slit gets plowed with a huge shlong"... It reminds me of Ong-Bak when Ting is practicing his katas and shouting their names.
I'm going to found my own school of martial arts: Fuck-Fu. DVDA will rival the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.
Wait. I think I saw a video like that when I was at Rutgers. It was like Crouching Tiger but porno, complete with slo-mo and wire work. I want Yuen Woo Ping to choreograph a sex scene. With Yo-Yo Ma providing accompaniment.
"Untouched slit gets plowed with a huge shlong". I think I've found the name of my firstborn son.
Time to see who presently stands as the highest ranking member of Road Squadron.
| October 25, 2007 | | | | Motherfuckers | by Mark Ward
Got another mail order today made out to "Divinity Destroyed" instead of "Mark Ward". Son of a bitch.
Of course it should go without saying how incredible it is that people are into us and supporting us. But with that having been said, what a pain in my ass. I'm lookin' at you, Nicholas Rudonski. You're getting a special gift with your order. A prototype for the Official Divinity Soiled Underwear.
Just kidding. We'll send a whole log.
| October 21, 2007 | | | | Dear Diarrhea | By Richard A. Flanegan
Hi, I'm Richard. I play guitar for this band. I like TV, the smell of air conditioning and pop tarts. Now that you know pretty much everything about me, let me start by saying thanks to everyone who attended our Waretown and New Brunswick shows last weekend. We sold out of our first run of "Death or Glory" EP's. Most of the feedback has been really positive so far, even though the material isn't up to Gary Ried standards. We played with Suicide City at both shows, which is always a good time. Billy Graziadei (ex-Biohazard/Suicide City) showed us some crazy choke hold that puts people to sleep. Now we're even more intimidated by him.
Next on the agenda is new merch. We're sentencing the "Plague" and "Forever and Never" shirts to death for crimes against fashion. We're currently working on a new t-shirt design, which will most likely be a "Death or Glory" theme. Also in the works is a brand new hoodie. We're giving you the fans the power to vote for a zip-up or a pullover. So be sure to vote in the "Headline" section. Vote or Die....... Death or Glory....... Paper or Plastic. So many decisions.
That's all I have to report right now. So I'll just leave you with some of the rave reviews of the "Death or Glory" EP.
"i think its a good effort but not as outrageous as say eden and ashes, or as heavy as nocturnal"- Gary Ried
"Death Or Glory just sounds like another fart in the wind of metuhl. Catchy, but still a fart."- Feedbacker
| September 6, 2007 | | | | The Slug Club | by Mark
Cancerslug’s playing at The Pussycat Lounge tonight in NYC. Dan & Jen (Djan) and Pino are going and I’m the getaway driver, like Dennis Haysbert in Heat. And if we happen to bug the shit out of him during a particularly boring part of his day, maybe we can drag Randal out. Because he loves horror punk.
I’m glad I don’t have a CS shirt otherwise I’d be struggling with whether or not to wear it. Decisions like that cripple me. Not that it’d matter since Dan’s elation will most likely overshadow everything under the roof.
I think Dan has managed to see every single one of his favorite bands. Multiple times for some. What the shit. I’ve seen Metallica and Maiden so I can’t complain but I’ll never get to see Bathory or Wesley Willis.
Divinity played the Pussycat Lounge some time in the winter and I remember digging the place. The turnout, parking situation, and narrow staircase were a different issue but the place itself wasn’t bad at all. They had a balcony, two bars, and boobs. Not to mention a weird stage that was more like a catwalk or a Tetris version of a dick and balls.
Shit, I wished I brushed up on Cancerslug lyrics.
| September 3, 2007 | | | | I Farted | I went fishing 5 times this weekend. I didn't catch anything. School starts this week for many of us. Tom and I both start school Wednesday. I'm looking forward to it. I went school shopping for the first time in years. I bought my loose leaf paper, pens and #2 pencils. It feels weird since I'm 24 and starting school again. It's fine though.
It would be nice if Divinity was signed to a major label and made enough money so we could support ourselves. I know it sucks saying that stuff but the reality of it is that when your young you don't really have a full concept of being independent. Unless you strike it big and get lucky in the industry, you have to find a way to support yourself. And even then you can only be on top for so long.
I hear nothing but bad things about the music industry anyway. The most common thing is that the bands are the last ones to make any money. Second is that once the tour is over, it's back to working some shit hole job with hopes that the next tour will be more successful.
I'm glad that Divinity has had great fans and support for all the years. If we didn't, it wouldn't have gone anywhere. I mean I don't know any local bands that have their logo tattooed on fans. I will never fully understand why this band isn't signed. I mean there are a million things that can be improved but just to have such a dedicated fan base never go much further than New Jersey is a shame. I'm never going to beat myself up over it though. Where's the sense in that?
-Dan
| August 28, 2007 | | | | Kevlar and Socks | by Mark
So “Threshold” is on the MySpace. I’d been increasingly nervous as the debut loomed nearer. Had we previewed “Death or Glory”, I’d feel significantly more secure. It’d be the difference between wearing either Kevlar or nothing but socks.
It’s an interesting state of affairs when someone whose self-affirmation has little room or regard for the opinions of others is still affected awaiting criticism from those held dear. But so far, the response has been extremely positive. And relief washed over me in an awesome wave.
Not that I’m hankering for it or anything, but for some reason, negative feedback has an oddly comforting effect on me. Like the reprieve that follows projectile vomiting. It’s very grounding. Not to mention it reminds me of one of my favorite lyrics, “You can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself.”
I’m still not used to calling it “Threshold” though. It’ll still be “Chong Smith” for another couple weeks. It took about that long to shake off “7&7” and “Think Tuff”. One of these days, we should just keep all the working titles as final titles. Then the next CD would have songs like “Bunghole Liquors” and “El Cockshaft Gordita”.
No complaints here.
| August 22, 2007 | | | | New tune coming soon??? | It's true! After a week long discussion - and by discussion, I mean hate fueled arguments resolved only by the support of Taco Bell - we have decided which new tune we are realeasing next week - - - and "Threshold" is said tune. Soon after the releasing of "Threshold" via cyber space, "Threshold", "Death or Glory" and "Indigo" (recently reviewed by Billboard) will be released on a new EP along with "Forever and Never" (which was only available via online video). This new DD effort will be available both on hard copy with amazing packaging and such as well as on iTunes for you kids that like your iPods, hola-hoops, and Pac Man video games. So thats danged XXXciting if you ask me! As I type, Dan is working on cover art stuff - amazing, amazing.
In addition, last week we got to play a church - under a sign saying "Our god is awesome" - which was cool. Hurt a li'l, but I know most people refuse to accept Bon Jovi as their god, so its cool. And this week we get to play Photohunt - I mean, Finnigin's. Where I'll be playing Photohunt with Tom.
So thats all the DD stuff that has been on my mind! And its all good stuffs which makes me happy. Very, very happy. In other news, I have to be at work in an hour and a half and can't deciede weather to shower, or go sit on the bed and watch the boob-tube ...
Rock.
~~~Jim
| July 30, 2007 | | | | A Moment with Dan | Dear Diary,
I'm anxiously awaiting our newest recording to be complete. Which it practically is. As Jim mentioned, it is in the final mixing stages.
We took some pictures last week in a swampy marsh. There were small crabs running about.
Also, does anyone has a copy of GTA San Andreas I can borrow. I got pretty far but the PS2 keeps saying there is an error reading the disc. No big deal.
I really don't know what to say. I watched the Batman trailer on Youtube. Heath Ledger spits in his hand to lube his cock in Broke Back Mountain. I can never view that guy as a cool guy again. Dick and balls are gross.
Ray Finkle.
| July 29, 2007 | | | | The B.B.Q.B. | Ahhhhhhhh.....
the B.B.Q.B.
That extra 'b' by the way stands for B.Y.O.B.B.
. . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . that extra 'b' was a type-o.
N' that xtra 'b' makes me pissed I haven't seen the Simpson's flick yet (even though I hate movie theateres)
But, at the same time, that xxxtra 'b' makes me glad I was at one of the Ward's annual BBQs this year.
I never thought a blow gun could be so much fun!!!
And the food: the food was the tits. So thanks Wards!
However, that extra Bee makes me sorry the show in Middletown was cancelled. I blame (insert most hated celebrity here).
I'd bullshit more, but all the awesome beers at the BBQ - from the Hoegarddens to the mini=keg of Heineken - has left me useless. And ready to rock.
~~~Jim
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